


When Secrets Get Out

by JoJoTalia



Category: HetaOni, Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, HetaOni - Freeform, Hetalia, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Paranoia, Platonic Cuddling, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:07:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23593561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoJoTalia/pseuds/JoJoTalia
Summary: Feliciano Vargas,North Italy Veneciano,a hyper active pasta loving boy who loved to flirt with ladies and pet kitties,always surrendering and waving his white flag,a young and happy person whose basically an open book,this is what everyone knows,but what if there's more?Have they ever asked Italy if he's ok?
Kudos: 8





	1. Introduction

RUN! That's all I know anymore. Running is all I can do...some things never change I guess. I'm not sure where I am,it's pitch dark and quiet except for my foot steps and the drumming up my heart that's beating far to fast. My legs feel like they're full of pins and needles while my lungs feel like they're being torn out of my chest.I have to keep running even through the pain. I'm absolutely terrified to my wits end...I just want to get out but I have to keep running. There's nothing here but me but I must run,if I stop I fear I may die,nation or not. I know it's useless but I yell out hoping for a response,a light,hope. "PLEASE!SOMEONE HElp me!!" My throat burns as my voice gave out towards the end and the tears stinging my eyes fall heavier and faster.


	2. Friends

I feel a large jolt in my body and below me. I'm in pain and I hear a loud strained scream, a second goes by for me to realize it came from my own mouth. Taking a minute control my ragged breathing and clear my eyes from my tears. I put my hands to my head and curl up on myself, bringing me knees up and setting my arms on the, and my head between my arms.

Why does this keep happening? I've been waking up screaming and crying for 2 whole weeks now and I don't even know why. My best guess is nightmares but I can never remember them, only the feeling of pure agony and terror. All I can remember is the feelings, the feeling of being chased and watched. Lately that second one has been happening when I'm awake, when i am by myself or with friends or my brothers, even if I'm in a meeting surrounded by nations, safe and sound, I still feel watched. " just breathe, smile and carry on" I tell myself. I shakily get out of bed and get dressed in my blue military uniform ,doing my morning routine then heading to the kitchen to make lunch since it was past breakfast time. My lunch being, as usual, pasta. Many believe I'm obsessed with the food, this is not the case though, I love it but not that much. When my grandfather, Rome, was alive he used to cook something similar for me whenever he could when I was small.

Checking the time on I realize if I don't hurry I'll be late for my meeting with Germany and Japan. Even though the war is over and the axis is disbanded we still get together every now and then for a training session and occasionally just to get lunch and talk. Today was a training day, meaning I had to be in uniform and preferably pick up me pace. With this thought I grab my phone and wallet ,slipping them into my back pockets and putting my brown boots on. "Ok veneciano, you can do this, like always, pretend all is fine and keep up your smile, they like you if you smile." I tell myself sighing and with only some hesitation I grab my stiletto knife and slip it in my boot. I've been doing this recently out of paranoia, usually I'm against any violence but I can't shake that fear of being watched,even now. Making sure all is in place I leave my house hurrying to the open field a bit away from my own home, running since I don't have a car.

Finally, I arrive are the meeting place out of breath. Taking deep breath till my pacing is normal I look around for the german and Japanese men. I inhale deeply before walking to them. ' just smile and act as always' I think to myself. Before they notice me I put a bit of a hop in my step, waving my hand and smiling like an idiot with my eyes closed. " Italia!!" The german man, Ludwig screams in his deep accent. " You're late, again, what took you so long!? We were supposed to meet here 18 minutes ago!"  
He finishes his rant at my tardiness. A thing to remember about Ludwig is that he loves his schedules and is a normally uptight man. He was my first real friend in a long time, he's a good friend but I wish he'd stop yelling at me all the time, It hurts and I hate any form of violence. Zoning back in I start with crocodile tears, "Ve~ I'm so sorry Germany! I was taking a siesta and couldn't find my uniform! Then I had to feed my cat Stella and myself! You know I can't not do that ! I'm sorry Germany! Please don't hurt me! Oh dio you probably hate me now!" I shout out, making somewhat fake excuses and lies crying like a child. " Gott! Italia it's fine just stop crying and screaming! I don't hate you,just try to show up on time next time." He responded more calmly then before, finishing with a sigh and pushing his blond hair back, he usually has it gelled up and back. I dry me tears and look to japan, or kiku,a short Japanese man with black hair and brown eyes that look dead, noting he looks uncomfortable. Looking back to Germany I reply," I'm so happy you don't hate me! I'll try harder next time captain!" I say giving a smile and salute with the wrong hand.

After 30 laps around the track, training finally ends. I'm exhausted and feel dirty from sweat and dirt. Blinding over with my hands on my knees I take deep breaths. Kiku comes over to me,holding his hands in front of himself, trying to look composed despite the look of exhaustion on his almost blank face." Are you alright Feliciano-kun?" He asks me in his calm accented voice. Smiling slightly and standing up straight I reply. "Ve~ I'm okay just tired and hungry, grazie kiku." Japan is a very reclusive and quiet man but he is my second best friend next to Germany, he doesn't like physically affection much but he shows his affection in other ways, like now. " how are you kiku? I ask." I'm doing well, arigato feli-kun" he reply's using my nickname. " Germany walks over looking only slightly winded with his hair now down in his face partly covering his blue eyes. " Good job you two, Italia you are getting better at keeping pace, nice work." He gives a rare small smile. I smile wide at the praise. " how about we get something to eat or drink now? Ve~."  
" good idea feli, it would be good to replenish after a work out.  
" ah I could go for some tea or coffee, shall we head to that one small cafe near here feli-kun?"  
" Ve~ lets go there! The staff is really nice as well and the food"  
After figuring that out we quickly clean ourselves up a bit and start walking since the cafe is just less than 3 minutes from here.


	3. The Conversation

They reached the Café,Feliciano opens the door skipping in,the bell ringing with each person that enters. They go to the front stand to ask for a table. speaks when the hostess looks to him."table for three, sir?" she's already picked up some menus and silverware for them.   
Ludwig simply nods his head with a confirming hum. "right this way then" she leads them to a table by a window. Each of the men thank her as they sit down and order their drinks when the waitress comes,a tea, black coffee and an orange juice.

Kiku takes a sip of his tea "this is nice is it not?thank you for suggesting this place italy" feliciano smiles in response "I come here for breakfast when I can"he takes a sip through his straw of the orange juice. ludwig is nodding to the conversation "we should come here again sometime but let's not make it a habit to eat breakfast food after training,it defeats the point and gives back all the calories we burned off" italy resisted a sigh at this and did a mock salute "roger captain"he said in his Happy go lucky tone.

They sat there peacefully for a bit with italy looking out the window and tapping his foot,he seemed a bit anxious since he was shuffling around in his seat.ludwig noticed he was obviously trying to make it look like he wasn't looking out so much. Before he could comment on it his friend stood almost abruptly. "Scusa, I'll be right back ve~" he hurriedly went to the bathroom

Kiku looked to Ludwig "that was strange even for italy,yes?" ludwig looked where Feliciano had been looking wondering if he saw a clown or a scary nation[scary to italy at least]."agreed that was weird but I'm sure it's nothing to worry over,it's italy he's always kinda off" with that they waited for Feliciano to come back.  
.  
.  
.  
It had been over 10 minutes and he hadn't comeback,kiku and ludwig where staring to worry now. "Maybe we should check on him?he probably just doesn't have toilet paper"kiku voices his concern and ludwig nodded"I'll go make sure he didn't fall in or anything" kiku chuckled at his response knowing italy that probably would happen. With this ludwig was off after sharing his own,deeper, chuckle he found the restroom and walked in. What he saw was something he never thought he'd see. Italy was on the ground shaking and coughing, a soft but painful sob was heard from him. Ludwigs small smile from earlier fell as he too fell to the ground so he could comfort his companion. He almost shakily reached his hand out,putting in on feli's shoulder. The Brown haired man jolted away with a small cry,his chest heaving and eyes clouded with confusion and fear before he recognized it was Ludwig who had touched his shoulder. He quickly wiped his eyes "i-" his voice was shaky as he tried to speak through his slowly calming breaths "I'm sorry...I'm sorry ludwig"he shook his head and crawled closer to the taller man,pulling him into a scared embrace,burying his face into the crook of the blonds neck.

Ludwig slowly put his own hands around the smaller shaking man,on rubbing circles on his back and the other on his head. "It's okay,it's okay, do you want to tell me why you are crying? You seem terrified,it's so unlike you italy" said man pushed back and looked him in the eyes,like he remembered where he was,what he was supposed to be doing. He'd been holding up an image he was so happy and okay for months since his night terrors started,why now why here did his character finally break,in front of ludwig of all people

He shook his head and tried to smile to no avail"sorry I worried you I'm okay" no one would have been convinced by that and he knew it but tried anyways. Ludwig looked to him with even more concern now. "You obviously aren't okay, please tell me what's wrong so I can help you" he pleaded only wanting to help his friend. But feli didn't want it,didn't want others to worry or know but...he could never lie to his first friend after so long now that he had seen him cry like this. He thought of how to say it but gave up finding the right wording for it. "I'm so scared, every night for months I've been having these nightmares where I'm stuck in this big house, theres no one there but me, and this thing,this darkness that chases me,I smell blood and sometimes I think I see you and others dead as I'm running and running,it's so quiet but so loud at the sane time and I'm so scared,I scream for help but no one ever comes" he says it all with him breathing deep and hard,his eyes tearing up again and he flings himself at the blond once again clinging to him like a small child.

Ludwig doesn't know how to respond,so he holds onto feli,rubbing his back and holding his head close trying his best to comfort him,let him know he's safe right now,this goes on for a minute before Ludwig speaks."It's going to be okay,im here, no ones dead, there are no monsters." it's all he can really think to say,he's not he best with emotions so he keeps trying to comfort him by holding his,it seems to call feli down enough so he's not crying and his breathing is at a more normal pace. Ludwig leans back and wipes the last of his friends tears."Lets go back before japan starts to worry more, we'll eat then try to sort this out more,alright?" Feliciano nods back weakly,fixing himself up as best he can in the mirror and follows Ludwig back to the table where kiku immediately see's his red puffy eyes and gives a sad worried look but doesn't ask yet,simply takes felis hand in his own when he sits down as a way to comfort him without being too obvious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update!ill be doing a chapter dump for a few pages I already wrote but just haven’t moved here from wattpad.


	4. Here for you

Germany and Japan had left the café as soon as they could, taking their Italian friend to the Japanese man's house to stay for a week or more. They originally were going to take him to his own home, but he was scared to be alone and Ludwig felt uncomfortable leaving him to himself now, he wanted to make sure he was ok. Kiku was the one to suggest his place since it's a calmer and more relaxing place where they could fully talk to Feli about his dreams and watch over him. 

"I'm okay, it's just some bad dream, really. I don't even remember them!" Feli cried trying to get out of the situation, sure he appreciated their concern but he really didn't want to think something was wrong with him, he wanted them to think he was happy, he didn't want to worry them with his emotions. Germany looked at his friend and sighed " we already know so just let us help you Feliciano" Of course the other two axis members didn't believe he was okay for a second after what happened in the bathroom, Germany had filled in Japan about what Italy said and how he was acting, hell even now the Italian was shaking. Japan nodded his head "we care about you, please just be honest" 

The trio reached japans home and walked inside taking off their shoes, and heading to the living room, Japan left to make them all tea and Germany wrapped Italy up in a blanket on the couch. "we all rest tonight but, in the morning, we need you to talk to us" the blond sighed 

This was the thing, he couldn't talk, all he knew was the fear and feeling of danger and being watched after waking up, he never remembered the dreams. How was he supposed to talk about something he doesn't remember? He was at least glad to not be home. Japan walked back into the room with tea and handed a cup to both, sitting on the chair opposite of them both, drinking his tea. The two more stoic nations discussed how long Italy would be staying there and if they would take turns watching him. They ended up deciding that he would stay at Japans for a week, each night they'd take turns comforting the Italian if he woke up from one of his bad dreams, they hoped he'd be able to talk if he had the nightmare not even a second ago. 

They had all fallen asleep, the stubborn German being the last awake, making sure his friend slept. It was now 3 in the morning when japan had been woken by the sounds of sniffling and the movement from the other asleep next to him, he fully woke realizing the Italian was crying in his sleep. Feli shifted, his brows furrowed and a scared expression on his face. "no no.... let me...o..out..no more." 

Kiku sat up and gently shook Feli's shoulders, trying to wake him. "it is okay, you are okay" he whispered. The Italians eyes shot open, he was breathing heavy and couldn't even scream just sob and whine. The black haired man pulled his friend close and pet his hair." You are safe, I'm here, Ludwig is here, nothing else, it is okay, can you speak?"   
The taller of the two picked his head up, letting out a quiet cry." y...yes, I'm sorry kiku, I'm okay n..now. I was b...being chased by.... something." he shook his head not remembering anymore.   
————————————————————————

They sat there in silence besides Italy's sniffling for a half hour before they fell asleep again, the rest of the night was peaceful. Eventually the sun rose and so did Germany, making them all breakfast he smiled at Italy's peaceful expression now. Japan and Italy woke up later and after eating breakfast they all sat on the couch chatting about nothing before Japan spoke. 

He faced the Italian." For long time we thought you were happy, but this not true, please be honest.". His usually stoic face was gone, replace by a soft smile and slightly furrowed, thin, brows. He truly did care for his friend and ally. For so long he thought Italy was just a happy, oblivious guy, childish but he always made them feel better in times of need. He realized that it was Italy's time of need now, he needed them just as they needed him.   
Germany nodded with a soft grunt, scooting closer to both his friends. The Aryan man had the same understanding as Japan, He cared deeply for Italy. "you make us smile even during times of war; the least we can do is help with your nightmares." 

Italy looked at both of them; he'd been sandwiched between them, it was comforting. He sighed and smiled a real smile for the first time in weeks. "Thank you, I'm so lucky to has people to care about me like you two do." He hung his head, a single tear fell silent but not unnoticed, then looked back up, smiling slightly brighter. "ill try my best to be honest, maybe the dreams will stop, I hope so at least." 

For the rest of the day they watched bad movies and laughed at them together.


	5. A simple walk

For a whole week Japan and Germany watched over Italy; waking him up from nightmares, making sure he ate properly since they noticed he'd lost weight recently, and comforting him when he got paranoid or scared. They were currently searching for causes of his nightmares. They'd guessed it was PTSD from his time as a nation in war but what Italy had described of what he did manage to remember from his night terrors didn't fit right. Sure, it could be his mind making up a monster in place of soldiers, but they were all sue that was no the case. They decided to take a brake from searching and take a stroll through the city, maybe visit Switzerland, this was Italy's idea surprisingly and Japan agreed with this, Germany couldn't be the only one against it, so he went along to.

Being nations, they had a connection to the land, if they thought hard enough on a destination that was claimed land with a personification, they could travel there in a second, like fast travel in a video game. In the second that japan was making the game analogy they were now in Switzerland; the personification of this land was currently with his sister, Liechtenstein, so he didn't know they were there. 

"isn't is really pretty here?" Italy asked, looking out into the field with a twinkle in his eyes, and a soft smile. Germany nodded his head putting a hand over his eyes to block out the sun. Japan simply hummed in agreement, going behind the much larger Germany to shield him from the sun's rays. They found a forest and decided to explore, Italy began to wonder if this all would really help. He was unbelievably grateful to his friends for trying, he'd managed to not wake up screaming and paranoid all day every day, but the deeper they went into what should be the peaceful calming woods the more he got a sick feeling in his stomach. He started to get a headache he could feel behind his eyes and the feeling of being watched had returned. He needed his knife, his flag, anything. His breathing became ragged and painful, tears welling up in his eyes and he felt the thumping of his heart in his shaky legs. 

He suddenly felt a pressure on his shoulder, he shook and jerked around panicked. He expected a monster, The Monster, but all he saw was the concerned, worried, almost scared faces of Germany and Japan. "F-Feliciano-kun it's ok we're here, you're safe, just breath. Ok? in now out, good, in and out, that's it." Japan had said, he knew these signs as he's experienced it before too. He got in front of Germany since he knew the tall man wouldn't know what to do. "Just breath in and out 5 counts each, that's it, feel any better now?" in response the Italian shakily nodded, letting out an audible gulp as he tried to stop crying so he could breathe easier, he didn't even know why that happened. Germany asked if it was ok for him to touch him now, with permission he paced his hand on Italy's back and rubbed slow circles in his back. 

Germany looked ahead and saw a big house, appearing lived in. "want to see if they have any water for you? We could rest before going back home." He motioned to the big house ahead, still looking at Italy with concern. 

Italy supposed that would be a good idea, but when he looked up after thanking Japan the feeling of fear and dread crept into his heart.


	6. Lost Memories

They reached the big mansions door and knocked, waiting about 4 minutes before knocking again." Maybe its abandoned?" Italy questions allowed trying hard to keep his voice steady. Something was horribly wrong, and he knew it. "maybe so, I'll knock again just to be sure" the blonde knocked 3 times in a row and waited. Once again, they were met with silence. Japan sighed and tried the doorknob finding it unlocked. "Excuse the intrusion" he said politely as they all walked it, Japan leading them with Italy in the back. "it is surprisingly clean for being abandoned, kind of dusty though" Germany thought aloud. They looked around them when a sudden crash sound came from a room to their right. Germany jumped in his place and Italy hid behind him, his feeling of dread increasing.

Japan shook his head". It is probably just a rat, I'll go check don't worry" he put a hand on his sword at his hip and walked to the room, he didn't think it was anything but just in case. He found a kitchen and walked near a counter, he found a broken plate and decided to pick it up. He wasn't sure why, but he felt it was important. He shook his head, picking up the pieces and putting them in the sink in case anyone decided they wanted to come into the kitchen. Calmly walking he made his way back to the others. He smiled softly seeing they had both calmed down seeing him.

Italy was confused, he had this feeling of being watched, while japan was gone he had gone into defensive mode, ready to run or fight if he needed too. So, when nothing attacked, he was confused, more relaxed but still, a stressed sweat had broken out. Germany was calmer but he had been even worse only a few seconds ago. The amount of relieve and calm that washed over him when the short male came around the corner was more than he felt normal. Germany spoke first. "so, it was really just nothing then?"

"yes, a rat must have knocked over a plate, I picked up the pieces and put them out of harms away"

"good, did you see if the sink worked?"

He shook his head." The sink was rusted over, if the water works it would not be good to drink"

With that they walked to the door, but Germany stopped before they left and turned to Italy. "are you feeling any better now?" he was still concerned it seemed." Ve, yes I'm alright, let's just get out of here" he said slightly trying to rush them. He did feel a bit better now, the feeling of eyes and danger had subsided to almost nothing. Germany nodded his head, a soft smile on his face as he held the door for the others.

They'd came back to Japans home and sat abruptly and lazily on the sofa, Japan excluded as he sat down slowly and with straight posture. Germany sighed, he was tired both physically and literally, japans head was clearing from today's activities as he slowly sunk into the couch. Now, Italy, he was beyond confused. Why was he so on edge, why was he so scared, and why did he feel like breaking down in there. He felt like he had been there before. It was familiar yet felt like hell, he should have been attacked knew this, something was supposed to happen.

Maybe.... No not possible, right? He shook, looked out of the corers of his eyes at his friends. "I think......I think I've been there before. No, I know I was. That house, that Hell, that is where I'm running in my nightmares." He curled up, his eyes watering as he slowly remembered, he remembered his nightmares, that house, the Thing that lives in it. He'd pushed it all to the very back of his mind, a mental block had been put up it was so horrid, he wished to forget I again. But now, now he knew, that Thing was really gone now. It couldn't hurt him anymore, or his loved ones.

Germany tilted his head, much like his dogs, confused and concerned and wanting answers. "what do you mean? You've been there before?" he moved closer to the Italian, but he stood up and looked to the Japanese and German men.

"It's over, it's finally over, I'm free and so are you two and the allies and my brother and Spain and Prussia, everyone." He smiled the brightest he had in so, so long, he was free. Japan looked startled and stood walking to Italy in a submissive form like you would a crazed animal. "Feli-kun you aren't making much sense, what are we free from, what's over?" Germany asked similar questions, but Italy ignored them. He suddenly started packing his things. "England, I need to speak to him, if anyone else remembers it's him. He's the one who did the spell to make you all forget." He said hurriedly, speeding around the room with more energy than he'd had in a year.

Germany stood and put his hands on Italy's shoulders, forcefully stopping him. "Feliciano please talk to us, you told us you'd be honest with us." He said with a stern tone, but his brows furrowed in worry and his eyes showed his concern and confusion. "I'm sorry, really, but I can't tell you, maybe a different day but not now. Oh, thank you both for helping me remember even if you didn't mean to. Thank you so, so much."


	7. Comfort in pain

He had only one thought as he ran with the wind blowing in his face,his auburn hair flying around his head and curl twisting and turning at each step. He heart was thumping so hard and fast he could hear and feel it in his head and wrists,lungs convulsing with each breath. He just needed to get to England as fast as he could. He was always known for being a fast runner. His breathing was ragged,he just barley was able to open up a nation road that would lead straight to the bushy eyebrow English man. 

He couldn't slow down, he couldn't afford it. As he ran and ran he remembered the feelings he had in his night terrors. The pure fear and adrenaline and pain. So much pain and fear. He started tearing up,his mind being consumed by memories he tried to conceal and feelings rather left untouched. He'd willingly forced himself to think about it all during the weeks with his friends, now starting to regret it. 

He could feel them, the eyes all watching him, he could hear them chasing and chasing him around. Even in the broad daylight it was dark and he was alone. Alone except for the Thing, it was always there, always chasing, always watching, never leaving and never ending. He Hated it. He Feared it. He just wanted this to end,it had ended but it was stuck in his head and his body moved on its own, ever since leaving that cursed mansion he'd been cautious, always on guard but trying to seem like it's all okay, always watching his back and locking any door behind him. Even when he didn't truly remember. It was some type of body memory that his brain had forced into the very back corners of his mind. 

He was breathing harder, wanting to scream but nothing coming out,he felt like he was falling into nothing and being slammed into the concrete all at the same time. By the time he finally reached England and found the dirty blondes home he was sobbing and shaking, he knocked on the door and let out a small cry of relief when he heard someone coming to the door.

When England opened the door his green eyes widened in shock and barley hidden concern. The Italian barley kept himself from falling onto the man,instead fell to the ground on his knees, shaking and quietly sobbing till his eyes were raw. 

"Dear god, let's get you inside" he put his hand out to help him up almost missing the small flinch in response before Italy took his hand and stood on wobbling legs, almost no strength to hold him up. "here hold onto me...I'll get you some water once you sit down, once you collect yourself" he paused to help Italy take his arm off his shoulder and lay onto the beige couch in the small living room. England sighed" please explain as best you can lad."

He left to the kitchen down the hall,filling up a cup with water and bring it back to the living room, sitting it down on the glass coffee table. Taking a seat he waited till italy got a hold of himself and drank the water after only almost spilling it once.

Italy took a deep breath and looked around to ground himself, he counted his senses.5 thinks he saw, 4 things he felt, 3 he heard, 2 he smelt and 1 he tasted. Once he was done and assured himself he was safe he sat his cup down and looked to England apologetically."I....I'm sorry for showing up like this" he took another sip of water and looked around once more, twisting his foot slightly in his boot to know his knife was still there,it was a comfort item at this point. " Arthur....I remember now, what happened to us, what happened... what happed to me." He looked to England with his brows furrowed and a sad fake smile, still trying to stay strong and not cry again. He knew England remembered too, he had to.

England took a deep inhale and let it all out after a second, putting his face on his hand, trying to cover his expression. He knew it was only a matter of time before Italy regained his memories or the horrors that occurred in the mansion. But he didn't think it would be this soon.

"Yes,I know and I'm sorry you know as well,I'm still...getting used to being in my home,in my country."  
"I'm...so scared all the time, I keep having nightmares, every night I see.... it. And during the day I try to act like I don't feel eyes on me,I have to act like everything is fine"

"I know,it's hard to remember that we aren't there anymore Italy. You couldn't help but remember where we were though, as you were the one to get us out."

They both stopped talking, just absorbing the fact they had someone to talk to that knows, remembers, they needed this. Sure they had their friend and family but it was never the same. Around others they felt as though they needed to protect them, but who was protecting England and Italy from themselves and the memories? No one, they were surrounded by people that love them but they were so alone at the same time.

England was never one for showing strong emotions, he rather bottle them up and let them up when he knew no one was there. But he stood and sat next to the Italian and hugged him, Italy was shocked at the contact but hugged back, both taking the comfort that the other was alive and there and not dying. They would never tell anyone but they had sat an hour just hugging each other, crying and laughing and smiling. They were so happy to be alive and see the other alive as well. They shared their pains. They ended up crying themselves to sleep as the record England had left on sang soft music, like a lullaby it sung them into a peaceful sleep for the first time in a while. They woke hours later, deciding to watch a light hearted movie, letting the record run in the background. They thought of their families, how much they loved them. Vowing to never take anything for granted again. 

It was late, England decided it was too late for Italy to head back so he made a bed in a guest room for Italy. Of course during the night they both woke up crying and screaming at different times, trying in vein to go back to sleep peacefully. In the morning they didn't question when they awoke in the same bed, they needed comfort.

They needed someone anyone to share their pain with. Someone that understood.

**Author's Note:**

> Im reposting this from my Wattpad Thewatcher_proxy.


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